Mummy to be - but was never :(
was in russia during june this year to visit my boyfriend.. stayed there for almost 3 months.. was a long 3 months.. there were good n bad things happening around there... ex.. quarreling n of cos good sex... sex was important part of my life.. especially with my bf.. we both loved it.. lol
well too much sex = baby...
yes.. i was pregnant when i was in russia.. worst of all, we were quarrelling realli badly over his gals issue and i slept on the floor.. no choice i screamed at his bloody face... I AM PREGNANT!!! and all i remembered was "pregnant your own business".. the exact words i remember till now... sad but true.
well then i came back to singapore to look for a gynae... and realise that i m reali pregnant.. so happy.. finally.. after so many years of sex n my first child...
although he was always not around during my gynae visits and puking days.. bt he came back straight when he heard the bad news of my baby... my baby had no kidneys.. and was detected end of my forth month pregnancy... very devasted when i was in the hospital, so i called him to leak out the sad news... doctors advice was to terminate my pregnancy...
my tears rolled down like buckets of water.. no words could describe my feeling... wonder why god made fun of me... give me something we wanted and took it away even before my bf saw my bulging tummy...
was admitted to hospital for operation on 31 november.... all i could say was it was damn fucking painful... he was with me most of the time.. i know that he was lost at what to do.. so all he could do is hold my hand and massage my back for me... bt my bb popped out when his dad was not around.. and it was onli then i realise that i had a baby boy... sadly the nurses wrapped my dead baby in a paper box for post mortem...
double saddness struck me.. when i was in hospital.. i realise my bf was chatting with cynthia and asking her if she wanted to go to russia to find him for a month.. if she would be his gf if he had no gf... if sex with her bf was good... saying that he seldom have sex with me... etc... sob sob
told myself i must buck up for better.. no matter what happens...
worst year i had.. seems like bad things are always happening to me.. wonder y.
